Life Lesson 1: Always Go Shopping With Shuiichi
by blinkie
Summary: ONESHOT Yuki learns the hard way: NEVER refuse Shuiichi when it comes to shopping, or else Ryuchan will save or ruin? the day. Appearances by Ryuchan, Tohma, and K Rated PG for mild sexual innuendo and insanity.


**Author's Note: Hi! I'm blinkie. This is my first Gravi fic. Thus, advanced apologies if anyone seems OOC. Hope you like the fic!**

**Title: Life Lesson #1: Always Go Shopping with Shuiichi **

**(Implied) Pairings: Shuiichi/Yuki, Tohma/Shuiichi, Tohma/Yuki, K/Shuiichi/Yuki.**

Over breakfast, Shuiichi and Yuki were talking about Tohma's party later in the evening. Hmm. That's not quite right. Make that, SHUUICHI was excitedly chattering about it. Yuki, on the other hand, was nodding into his coffee, the words from across the table mere noise to him.

"I bet it's gonna be really really posh!! It's a black-tie party, that's what Sakano-san told me! I better check if I have something to wear!!" And a pink tornado blasted off in the direction of the walk-in closet.

"Good riddance," mumbled Yuki, slumping onto the table in relief.

"YAAAAAAAAGHHH!!" A blood-curdling scream rose from the closet. Yuki jumped in fright as Shuiichi came barreling out of the closet.

Oh, the horror!! Shindo Shuiichi, singer of uber-popular Bad Luck, was out of clothes!! 

*********

"Pleeeeeeeasse Yuuuuuuki!!!" Cried Shuiichi, hanging on to Yuki's pants leg.

"No." The writer was trying to shake Shuiichi off, but to no avail. He could feel the seams starting to give. _He must have been a leech in his past life,_ grimaced Yuki.

 "Mou! You-have-to-it'll-be-SOOOO-lonely- shopping-alone- PLEEASE- come with- me!" said Shuiichi in one breath, tugging insistently on his leg.

"I said no! Let go of me, will you?" 

"No, not until you say yes!"

"You brat. Ask Hiro or someone. I'm busy."

Shuiichi grinned evilly. "Iie, Hiro's so busy with Ayaka-chan that he never has time for me!! Ahahaha!!!…oooops." Shuiichi clamped both hands to his mouth. Perfect. Foot-in-the-mouth again. On Yuki's part, he didn't care at all for Ayaka. He was just glad of the momentary respite his pant leg had been granted. Taking full advantage of this, he ran –one of the rare moments he did- to his room and slammed the door shut, turning the lock immediately.

"Waaaah!! Yuuuuki!!" Shuiichi threw himself at the door. "I'm sorry! I know you don't want to talk about Ayaka anymore! But you know, Hiro and Ayaka, they're together now, and I cant talk about Hiro without mentioning Ayaka, you know how it is, they're a couple soooo.. gomen!!!"

"Just go already!!"

"But you're angry!"

"I will be if you don't leave right now!!"

*********

At the mall, Shuiichi gloomily trudged the brightly lit walkways. He had passed several shops filled with clothes that caught his fancy: neon-green flared pants, leopard-print suits, leather midriff tops. La dee daa. Nice, but not good for Tohma's party.

The next shop he passed was a shoe shop. His eyes brightened as he surveyed the shoes on the racks. Wow! Knee-length silver boots! _Waaay too cool! And rows and rows and rows of sneakers! Shuiichi wept with joy at seeing so many shoes. But he didn't see a pair that would fit Tohma's party. So he cried._

After hours of wandering around the mall, Shuiichi was depressed. He wasn't able to buy a single thing for the party. He didn't even know what to wear! He decided to get an ice cream cone. Ice cream always helped him make great decisions.

After having happily ingested a double scoop chocolate-chip-with-strawberry drizzle- cone, Shuiichi was ready to shop again. He glanced at his watch. Three more hours to go till the party. He took a deep breath, conditioning himself to hit the stores one more time, when he heard a genki voice holler into his ear! 

"SHUUUI-CHII!!" ♥

Shuiichi jumped a foot into the air. Deciding to give the rude person a good telling off, he angrily faced the person…and sweatdropped massively at realizing he was about to deck a giant ice cream cone. With legs and arms. 

Eeto,..where's the head? Oh, there it is. Feathers were stuck in the brown strands.

WAAAAHH!!! It was Sakuma-san!!!

"Sakuma-san! What are you doing here?"

"Ehehehe, Kumagorou just wanted to buy some feathers today." ^_^

"Feathers?" O_o;

"Yup!!" The worldly Sakuma Ryuiichi nodded his head excitedly, feathers falling out of his hair. "We ran out of them."

"Oh, I see." ^_^

"Come on, let's go! Kuma will be angry if we don't get them right away!"

"Ah…" As if he had any choice, being caught in Ryuiichi's vise-like grip and currently being dragged towards the arts and crafts shop.

As soon as they had reached the store, Shuiichi asked Ryuiichi: "Are you going to Tohma's party later?"

"Party? Tohma has a party?"

"Yup! It's his birthday, remember?"

"Oh yeah! We have to get him a present na no da! Let's go!" And the feathers were completely forgotten as they tore through the mall again.

"Eeto Sakuma-san, I have to shop for my clothes too!!"

They screeched to a halt. "You have no clothes?"

"Nope. Someone stole them all."

"I'll lend you some!!!"

Shuiichi glanced at Ryuichi's ice-cream cone outfit and politely declined the kind offer, making up some lame excuse that Yuki would blow his top if he didn't spend his monthly clothes allowance today.

So  Ryuichi helped Shuiichi pick out some fine threads. They had wasted the better part of an hour rejecting Ryuichi's initial picks which consisted of –you guessed it- feathers and pink sequins. The cashier had rung up their purchases which totaled 100,000 yen when Shuiichi…apparently…forgot...his wallet at home.

"Oh nooo!!" Shuiichi frantically patted his pockets. "I left my money at home!! Sakuma-san, do you have any money?"

"I had some, but Kuma ate them all." :-

"Damn!" Shuiichi slapped his forehead. "I have to call Yuki for money! Miss, can you hold my purchase for around ten-fifteen minutes? I'm gonna have some money brought here."

"Gomen, sir, but the mall closes in five minutes, and so will we."

 "Yaaagh!!" Both Shuiichi and Ryuichi yelped.

*********

"Sakuma-san, what do I do now?!" Shuiichi and Ryuichi were sitting on the ledge of the fountain outside the mall. "I have nothing to wear!!" 

"And I don't have a gift for Tohma! Mou!" Ryuichi pouted. 

"Waaaah!!! I might as well not go at all!!"

The two sat there for an indeterminate amount of time, Shuiichi moping and Ryuichi looking like he was in deep concentration. 

"Hmmm...oh, I know!!" Ryuichi yelled. And he whispered his plan to Shuiichi.

"Sakuma-san!" Shuiichi was shocked.

"Come on, it'll be fun, na no da!! It'll solve both our problems!!"

"Demo! That would look ridiculous!"  
"That's okay! We're used to it!" Back to his genki self, Ryuichi pulled Shuiichi off his feet and dashed off to his house. 

"Oi, Sakuma-san! What did you mean by that?" Shuiichi managed to gasp out.

The singer merely winked at him.

*********

_Tohma's__ party, Tohma's mansion._

Yuki discreetly glanced at his watch. An hour since the party started. Where the hell was that moron? He didn't want to admit it to himself but he was starting to miss the boy. Not because of some romantically mushy reason, of course, but rather because Tohma had been giving him those "come-hither" looks again and he needed more excuses to decline. He had used the restroom excuse three times already. Another more and Tohma might just decide he was sick and nurse him back to health. 

Goodness, where WAS Shuiichi?!?

In the end, with the help of a rapidly advancing Tohma, Yuki decided the restroom excuse could be stretched for one more use. He'd just ask Hiro to call him when Shuiichi had arrived.

*********

Everyone gasped when Ryuichi entered the main ballroom. Even the fashionable Tohma nodded his approval. Resplendent in a black suit, the blood-red silk shirt peeking out from beneath the coat, and long hair elegantly slicked back, Ryuichi was drop dead gorgeous. Eyes twinkling mischievously, he approached Tohma and gave him a peck on the cheek. 

"Omedeta, Tohma-san!" ^_^ 

"Thank you, Ryuichi." ^_^

♥ "I have a surprise for you." ♥ Ryuichi gestured to a big box at the doorway. With a snap of his fingers the box fell away to reveal a four feet tall strawberry cake! Everyone gasped once again! They were so happy because the cake looked so delicious!  Tohma was beside himself in tears. 

"Ryuichi! You made this?"

"Mm-hmm! And there's more!" He snapped his fingers again, and the lights dimmed. A spot light illuminated the cake. And for the third time, a collective gasp echoed in the cavernous room as…

…the top of the cake…

…lifted up…

..and revealed a very red-faced Shuiichi in a strawberry outfit, a dollop of whipped cream on his nose.

The whole ballroom sweatdropped.

"Omedeta, Tohma-san." Shuiichi's already-faltering grin nearly disappeared as laughter filled the room. Even Yuki, who had come out of the bathroom after a volley of frantic knocks assailed the door, could not help but laugh at the _weirdness of the whole situation. _

"Yo-ho!" Ryuichi grinned from ear to ear. "Do you like my present, Tohma?"

"Eeto…" Seguchi Tohma apparently was at a loss for words. What exactly was his present here? The cake, or Shindo-kun? Or both? Tohma strained all his logical faculties trying to figure it out. Finally, knowing he would hurt Ryuichi's feelings if he admitted he didn't know which was which, PLUS the fact that the combination of   
Shindo-kun, cake, and whipped cream was just TOO DELICIOUS to be turned down, he said, "Of course I do. This is very sweet of you Ryuichi." ^_^

"I knew you'd like it na no da!!" ^_^

"Arigato." He approached the cake.. Shuiichi noticed the evil glint in Tohma's eye and started to back away, only to slip and tumble into the cake. 

"Yuuuki!!  Heeeelp me!!"

Tohma pulled Shuiichi out of the cake and proudly slung his arm around him.

Everyone in the room applauded!

"Ja, minna, on with the party!" Tohma bade the partygoers. Behind him, someone coughed. He turned to see Yuki's indignant countenance gazing disapprovingly at him.

"Eiri-san, what can I do for you?" Tohma smiled. Shuiichi was trying to struggle from under his arm.

"I'm here to collect that," Yuki pointed to Shuiichi, "_moron," he finished._

"Demo, Eiri-san, Ryuichi gave him to me as a gift. It's not polite to give away gifts you received. Besides," he winked suggestively at Shuiichi, "I'm pretty intrigued with him."

Shuiichi shook all over. "Waaaaaaah!! Yuuuuki!! Heeelp!!"

Rolling his eyes in exasperation, Yuki gestured for Tohma to come closer to him. Obliging the writer, Tohma leaned in closer. Yuki whispered something in his ear. Tohma gasped. "You don't say!" 

Yuki nodded his head sagely. "Believe me, I know what I'm talking about."

Tohma immediately released his hold on Shuiichi. "Oh look, the punch bowl's almost empty, I need to fill it up." Without waiting for a reply, Tohma quickly walked away.

Shuiichi turned to Yuki with gratitude brimming in his eyes. "You saved me" he cried. "You're my hero!" He made as if to hug Yuki but was held away at arms length by the writer.

"Do me a favor and PLEASE get out of that outfit. You mean to tell me you spent money on this?!"

"No, of course not! Sakuma-san lent it to me!"

Yuki sighed. "I should've known."

"Demo, you saved me! How did you convince him?"

Yuki lit a cigarette and blew a smoke ring in Shuiichi's face. "I told him you never have sex unless it's a threesome. And since K is obsessed with you now because of that stupid outfit, he's automatically your other partner."

"Hahahahahaha!! That's funny, Yuki! Where'd you learn to become so funny?"

"Who said I was kidding?"

"Eh?!"

As if on cue, a blonde appeared behind Yuki. A blonde AND a Magnum. 

"Hey Shuiichi!" K called out cheerfully. "You look good in that outfit, Shuiichi! Quite delicious, in fact. What say we leave this stuffed-shirt party now eh? Have ourselves some fun? What do you say?" K leered at him.

"MAMA!!!" Shuiichi ran as fast as his strawberry legs could take him. Yuki watched K chase after him and sighed. 

"I should have gone shopping with him in the first place."

 ~THE END~

**Reviews would be greatly appreciated! **

**Luv****,**

**blinkie**** ♥**


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